Bro, Experiencing a break up is not a pleasant feeling. It can even be more terrible if after the initial flood of emotions, you discover how valuable Ngozi/Ayishat has been. Now you wonder if there is a way of getting her back because you know your life is better with her than without her.
First of all, I must admit that getting your ex-girlfriend back is not an easy task. Getting her back is a process that would take time and a little strategy on your part. You need to understand that there is no short cut to it. This is not the usual case of misunderstanding in a relationship, but one where the relationship supposedly has ended.
For all the “chop and clean mouth guys” please this is not your thread, this is for people who still have that humanly feeling of love in them.
What can you do to get her back?
1. Give yourselves a break:
You both need some time for yourselves. Do not go begging her to reconsider the relationship. Do not send her text messages or make silly Facebook posts. During this time, do not make any contact with her. Ignore that urge to make her see you. Remember, the scarcer a thing is, the more desirable it becomes. Make no contact at least for three weeks. Don’t fret if she goes in to a new relationship. If you really had a strong relationship, there is nothing to worry about. The new guy is just a rebound and the relationship will most likely crash before you know it.
2. Analyze your break up:
What was it that was not working about the relationship? Did you do all the hard work to make the relationship work? Did you apologize every time she did something wrong? Did you compliment her too much? Did you tell her affirm your love more than she did? Were you insecure? Who initiated the break up; was it you or her? What was the reason? These are important questions that you need to find answers to.
3. Work on yourself:
Instead of letting your emotions run haywire, invest your time on yourself. If you will stand any chance at getting her back, you need to improve yourself. Hit the gym, get new clothes, earn more money, get a new haircut, give your apartment a facelift, improve on your sense of humor etc. Just make sure there is a better you.
4. Be on good terms with her close friends:
In this part of the world, hardly can your relationship work if her friends are against you. Right now, her friends wield considerable influence over her decisions. It is better they are on your side than not. Keep in touch with them occasionally via phone calls or chats. Remember, it should be occasional! if that Amina/chioma is not by your side sometimes you are only wasting your time. girls have their own way of thinking. her friends will most of the time succeed in sabotaging your efforts. Be on good terms with them.
5. Re-establish rapport:
After you have taken time to work on yourself, establish rapport with her. This is not the time to bring up relationship matters. At this point, you have an advantage over other guys trying to date her because you know her likes and dislikes which can aid you in conversing with her. Your aim is to douse the tension between the two of you and get her to relax. The best topic to discuss with a woman is herself. Keep your chats interesting by talking about her. Employ your sense of humor as often as you can.
6. Engage her emotions:
This is your best shot at getting her back. Women are not really wired to make decisions basically on logic. A woman builds connection with a guy based on how he makes her feel. One way of doing this is to engage her discussions that gets her to talk about her deepest feelings about various topics. If she can feel the emotions for you again, you have an eighty percent chance if having her back. She will work her way around logic when she sees that you have worked on yourself.
7. Set the stage for your reunion:
This is the moment you have waited for: to ask her out again. Not yet, it will take a moment. Don’t rush to apologize and ask for a make-up. Doing so will give her the chance to tell you no. Don’t allow that opportunity. At this point, you need to act as though you are boyfriend again. Relate with her as on an intimate basis. Naturally, she knows what you are up to. If she raises it up, then, you can make your apology speech. If she plays along, then flow with the tide. She most likely wants it that way already.