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A Day In The Life Of A Lazy Girl – Episode 1

Posted by on September 22, 2016.

Written By Bibijay
​” My mom wants to meet you” Richmond my boyfriend said.” She invited us to dinner”
” What? When? Why are you just telling me now!”
It was on a Saturday morning, this crazy guy could have told me this five days ago but he was just telling me now! 
” Calm down babes. She is only inviting us to dinner tonight. ” he walked into the bathroom unclad. 
My God! i didn’t have a single clean dress in my wardrobe! I used to send my laundry to the dry cleaners but my mom’ s health coupled with other expenses made me start doing them. By doing them i mean, pick what i want to wear the next morning and wash it the night before. By morning it would be dry, a quick touch of iron and I was ready to face the day.
” Rich I am going home! What time is the dinner?”
” 6 pm and why are you going back home?” he called out from the bathroom. I ignored him and picked up my bag.
” I will be ready by five. Yea come pick me up by five pm.”
I practically ran out of his apartment. I was just opening the door to my own apartment, when i heard the clap of thunder and it started raining. How will my cloth get dry now? My sitting room was a big mess, clothes were strewn on the sofa, a box of pizza sat on the table. I thought i had thrown it out! my house smelled like rotten veggies! what the heck! I was only at Richie’ s place for two days, how could it smell this bad? i searched for the source of the foul smell and voila! It was a bowl of salad i made some days ago. When did i leave this one here? oh! I made it for Richie and i must have forgotten to take it along with me. I washed it out, opened my windows to let in air and i totally forgot to rinse out the bowl and dry it.
‘ Grrrrrrrrrrrrr’
I picked up my phone from the kitchen counter. 
” Is that proposal ready now?”

” Hello….. Hello…. the network is breaking….”
I disconnected the call. Linda was my boss and the CEO of the company i work for. This was supposed to be a two weeks leave for me but she has been disturbing me with one thing or the other. I don’t have her time now, i have a bigger crisis on my hands. I rushed into my bedroom, I threw open my wardrobe and my heart skipped a beat. It was bare. I searched through my bulky laundry bag and picked out a long silky dinner gown. I gave it a quick wash, squeezed it extra hard to drain out the water. I felt it with my hands, yea it should be dry in no time.
Richmond picked me up some minutes to five, he complimented my look and i beamed at him. He was a tall guy with six packs, his nose was slightly crocked as a result of a fight in high school. He had no idea how i live or how much my energy battery was on conserving mode.I cook dinners at his place or take it along with me on my way to his place. 
” Welcome son” A beautiful middle aged woman, definitely Richie’ s mom kissed him on the cheek.
” Is this your guest?” 

No. His handbag.

” Yes Mom. Meet Tomi”
I was expecting him to say meet my girl friend Tomi. What was the essence of coming here if i don’t even get introduced as his girl.
” Do come in Richmond, dinner is getting cold.”
” Good evening ma.”

” Evening my dear” her eyes sized me and from her looks i was definitely wanting. My hand crept to my hair, i was always having a bad hair day because i don’t give it a good brush before going to bed. Or is it my make up? i don’t know how i always manage to smear mascara on my cheek bone. We followed her into the grand living room. I saw my reflection in a glass door leading to the stair case and i froze. I looked like a tangle of mess. My hair, if i could still call it hair looked like something a cat coughed up.
My silky gown had spots of dirts on it. My lipstick was a scarlet mustache around my lips. Why didn’t Richie tell me! the dinner was like a mini society party. There were kimkardshians look alike and Kate Middleton look alikes. They were all expensively decked out in pearls and furs. 
” Hey Rich” A big boobed barbie walked up to us and planted her lips firmly on his lips.
” Woow! Woow! Alicia!” He laughed uneasily. 
I walked away from them, it was all going wrong. It wasn’t what i envisioned. Now i know how Alice must have felt in wonderland. Nobody paid me heed and a glance backward showed Richie was no where to be found.
” Come, come to the dinning room” Richie’ s mom announced.
Everyone rose and i followed them. Someone took hold of my arm.
” Where were you?” I seethed.
” I should be asking you babes, I wanted to introduce you to my cousin Alicia but you were no where to be found.”
We went to the dining table, before Richie could pull out a chair for me, cousin Alicia had already pulled him onto the seat next to her. I took the seat beside her, Richie gave me a ” I am sorry look” . 
They were all laughing loudly and talking at the same time……it was more like bragging. My son is in oxford, my daughter is in France learning the Art of sex, my grandchild went to the moon. Alicia nudged me.
” Ehen”
She gave me a look.” Where did you school?”
” School? Lagos”
” Oh really? Richie and i went to Cambridge you know.” She faced him.” Those were the real days of fun!” 
The others laughed like a pack of hyena. 
” My dear you didn’t touch your Thai curry” this came from Richie’ s mom.
My gaze dropped to the bowl of yellowish soup with chunks of red pepper, carrot and chicken breast. She didn’t even ask me before dishing it on my bowl and exclaming it was Richie’ s favorite soup. The dishes on the table were a variety of Italian and Chinese dishes. I couldn’t say no so i forced a smile and put some into my mouth.
” Don’t you like it? i spent hours in the kitchen sweating to make all this” she pouted.
” I like it” i lied. Richie winked at me, he knew. 
” Pablo Picasso. i think his works are masterpiece.” A girl with lips too big for her face said.
” What do you think of what she just said” Richie’ s mom directed her question at me. 
What were they even saying? i gave her a blank look.
” Do you think Pablo Picasso’ s works are always masterpiece.?”
” Pa….pablo?. Yes” 
A bald headed shouted “No, no, i disagree! i totally disagree with you young lady unless if you care to elucidate on that!” 
They were all staring at me now. Richie looked uncomfortable. Alicia was smirking.
” I don’ t know who he is” 
The noise died down, mouths hung open, eyes were widened in shock. I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. I stood up, i moved too fast, not knowing the chair sat on my dress, the sudden movement knocked the bowl of Thai curry onto Alicia’ s thigh. She shrieked. I turned around and fled from the room. I heard Richie calling after me but i ran and kept running. Out of the building, out of the compound, i wanted to run to the end of the world and take a plunge below.



Johnson’ s residence.

Chief Adediwura Johnson was in his private study with his first son Kelvin. Is this the demerit of sending one’ s child to school abroad? they become too opinionated, its like they left the respect back home in Nigeria before boarding the plane abroad and when they got back they just couldn’t find it anymore or don’t care to.
” Dad i am telling you I can’t marry that girl! Hell no! have you ever spent even an hour in her presence? she’s too arrogant and rude! ”
” Kelvin the marriage rites were done when you were both babies! this is for our own good….her father has multinational companies in five different countries!”
” I don’t care! I don’t fucking care!”
He stood up and faced his son.” If you refuse to marry her i will disown you! never will you step your feet into this house again or even speak to any member of this family! I am your father! When i talk you listen because i have been on this earth before you! You were both aware of the fact that you will become man and wife right from cradle! ”
” I will not marry her and that is it dad!” 
He walked out of the study banging the door after him. His mother called out to him but he ignored her and walked out of the house. It was drizzling lightly, he got into his car and pressed the horn angrily. Musa the gate man opened the door for him and he drove out.
Thank God he saw the apparition in time, it was a bundle of white silk and a mass of tangled hair that tried to run across the street, if he wasn’t an experienced driver he would have knocked her into the gutter. He was furious now and he marched out of his car angrily.
” Hey you! Are you blind?! ”
She continued walking in the rain acting like she couldn’t hear him. The fool. The least she could have done was to apologize but Nigerians…….he got back into his car and rolled the car to where she stood waiting for a bus.
” Where are you going?”
” Leave me alone! You almost killed me and all you could do was to shout at me! I am not surprised tho! Its typical of you Nigerians!” She shivered.
He couldn’t help laughing.
“I could say the same of you too.” 
She looked like a rat caught in the rain. A sexy rat….he amended and laughed out again.
” What is funny?”
” Nothing. Where are you going?”
” Thank you. I will wait for a bus”
” Your choice. ” he said and drove off. He was just about getting to the end of the street when the downpour became heavy. He should just drive home, she wasn’t his business but something told him It was the right thing to do. He found himself reversing back to where she stood.
” Get in” he shouted.
The drenched bundle of silk and tangled hair got into the car, dripping water on his car seat.
” Sorry about the mess”
His eyes dropped to her feet. One of her shoes was missing.
” Where is your shoe?”
She bit the bottom of her lipstick smeared lips in embarrassement. ” I can’t find it. You can drop me off in front of bright crescent school ”
He gave her a look of pity. She was a beautiful lady but right now what he had in front of him wasn’t even worth being compared to beauty. 
” Don’t worry i will drop you off in front of your house. Just give me the direction ”
” Thank you.”

The rest of the ride was in total silence except for her shallow breathing. She was coming down with cold.
” What were you doing out in the rain. Umbrella is quite cheap these days or don’t you think so?”
” Here. Please stop here.”
” Alright. ”
She alighted from the car, her legs wobbled, she held onto the door of the car to steady herself. Kelvin came down from the car and gave her a helping hand.
” Oh my goodness!” He screamed.
She had thrown up on his body. 
” I am sorry…… I’ m so sorry ”
The smell of whatever she ate was galling. He helped her to her apartment, opened the door when she couldn’t open it after three attempts. Her house was like a rabbit hole, there were clothes and bits of things everywhere.
He couldn’t resist asking. ” Is this a mobile shop?”
She gave him a dirty look. ” The bathroom is that way. ”
He walked into what was a supposed bathroom. There were novels on the egde of the bathub. A nail polish was on the toilet flush, he spied some silky panties hanging on a rack. He sighed heavily. Who is this girl? he got some water and washed the front of his polo. It stank after the wash, there were two feminine perfumes on the toilet seat which had been placed down. He took hold of one, spraying it on himself generously.He brought that particular part of his polo to his nose, the smell was minimal. Good to go.
” Hey I am through. ” he called as he walked back into the living room.
” In here” she said in a little voice.
She was on her bed in the drenched muddy silk gown. 
” Do you want to die? or you think pneumonia is something to joke with?” 
” You may leave now, i will rest a bit and get out of these cloth”
” You should get out of it now, is there someone you could call?” He touched her forehead and snatched his hand back.” You are burning with fever! stand up! go remove the cloth now”
” No, no, go! ” she moaned.
He carried her out of the bedroom while she gave a feeble struggle. He took her into the bathroom and dumped her into the bathub.
” My novels……they will get wet”
He took the books into his arms, he threw them in a corner of her room. He waited for her in the living room but when he didn’t see her after some thirty minutes or thereabout he went to knock on the bathroom door.
” Miss! Miss! are you in there?” 
He opened the door gently. She had gotten out of the wet cloth but she wasn’t in the tub. She was unconscious on the bathroom floor. He checked her pulse and shook her gently and She gave a little moan. She was alive. He carried her back into the bedroom, he threw open her wardrobe looking for a duvet to cover her but the wardrobe was bare. He saw a bulky bag that seemed like a lundary bag. He found the duvet in there, it smelled of heat but he covered her with it anyway.
” I want to go get you some drugs. Is there anyone i should call? Or your neighbor?”
” Neighbor is a guy…..my head!”

” Who else should i call? a husband, brother or boyfriend? ”

” No, no, i don’t want him here! You can…..can ……go”

” Cool. I am going to get you some drugs now. What is the name of this street again?”

She whispered it and he raced out of her apartment.



To be continued



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Categories: Blog Columnist

16 Responses

  1. i love diz

    by toyosi on Sep 22, 2016 at 8:08 am


    by innocent on Sep 22, 2016 at 9:17 am

  3. No matter how worst u ar,, u will surely get ur best friend who will take u for who nd what u ar

    by shollalli on Sep 22, 2016 at 10:37 am

  4. Next

    by Anonymous on Sep 22, 2016 at 4:12 pm

  5. Nice

    by Anonymous on Sep 22, 2016 at 4:46 pm

  6. 9ice one

    by one nation on Sep 22, 2016 at 9:38 pm

  7. I’m loving this

    by Vicky on Sep 23, 2016 at 12:08 pm

  8. it’s cool

    by Anonymous on Sep 23, 2016 at 1:26 pm

  9. Nice but wen will episode 3 be out

    by Anonymous on Sep 23, 2016 at 5:06 pm


    by Anonymous on Oct 1, 2016 at 1:59 pm

  11. wow so fantastic

    by precious on Oct 1, 2016 at 8:33 pm

  12. beautiful

    by success wilson on Oct 3, 2016 at 7:28 am

  13. loving it

    by miss B on Oct 20, 2016 at 4:32 pm

  14. Please I need Facebook girl from season 1, episode 1

    by ayopal on Nov 6, 2016 at 9:48 pm

  15. Boring.nonsense!

    by Tj on Nov 7, 2016 at 9:43 pm

  16. dirty girl

    by BOBBY on Jan 6, 2017 at 3:45 pm

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