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Author Archives: BRAINBOX

Akpos The Best Mathematician

Akpors best MathematicianTeacher: Prove that 2/10 = 2 !Japanese student: Wrong question.Chinese student: No WayAmerican student: It’s strange, how isitpossible !!AKPOS: I can solve it very easily sir,Two / Ten = wo / en( T with T cancel )w = 23rd lettero = 15th lettere = 5th lettern = 14th letterSo,23+15 / 5+14= 38 / 19= 2Answer is 2 sir

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The Abandoned Child…Part 42

Akwai kunu? Adamu asked the woman Akwai sir! She replied Akwai sanyi? Adamu asked Akwai sanyi sosai! She replied To! Bani insha! Adamu said. She gave him a cup and a chilled bottle of kunu Oga, you sabi this one? Adamu asked me as he pulled off his beret and clipped it on the shoulder of his uniform. No! I ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 43

I finished my clearance from school and collected my result. I still saw some of my mates who did not graduate immediately at school running around as normal students because they had carry over courses. Many thought I had carry over courses too when they saw me around the administrative office.I traveled to the Army 82 division HQ in Enugu ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 40

Chioma, Katherine and Theresa? Even the Amara that is dying for you!” he said Ha! Jesu Christi o! You people have exposed me o! We think Chioma set you up! Her boy friend or do I say former boy friend was killed along with your friend DJ Slam. It is complicated sha! But we are still working on certain links ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 41

Contrary to my expectations, the navy did not torture Chioma and Oga Dan in order to get their confessionary statements. They were given the VIP treatment. When we returned to Owerrinta base, we went to the commandant’s office and gave him the update of our journey. He joined us in his official car and together we drove to the naval ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 37

JANUARY 1997; I met a very complicated situation on my return to Owerri, strange things had happened while I was away. I entered the Hotel premises at 4.PM with my luggage strapped on my back. I was expecting a warm welcome from my colleagues and a subtle reprimand from Oga Dan for staying away longer that I was permitted. I ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 38

You are under arrest for involvement in cult activities which has led to the death of one Nnana Ogbuike popularly called DJ Slam, Onyekachi Chukwuma popularly called Major and Onyema Iloh popularly called Lusaka! You have the right to remain silent as anything you do or say here shall be used against you in the court of law.Nigerian Police don’t ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 39

I came alive with this throbbing piercing pain on my shoulders, I cried out and opened my eyes, every where was blurry at first then I could see light. I sneezed severally before I noticed the person standing by my bed. Even sneezing was a painful activity.Sorry, relax! Relax! He said as he touched my body and checked my vital ...

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Joke: In The Sahara Desert

Two christians were lost in the sahara desert on their way to Libya. One is David and the other is Christian. They were terribly dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what looked like an emirate with a mosque in the middle. David said to Christian “Let’s pretend as if we are muslims otherwise ...

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Akpos Joke: Who is More Stupid?

Mr James and  his friend Mr Akpos were arguing about their sons’ stupidity. Mr James argued that his son was more silly than Akpo’s son. Akpos however disagreed, so they decided 2 put their sons to a test. James called his son and asked him to buy something for him at the market. The boy ran out without even asking for what to ...

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Death Visits Akpos

One day death came to a Akpos and said. Akpos today is your day..!!! “Akpos replied : “But I’m not ready to die…. “Then death said…. “Well there’s nothing I can do because your name is the next one on the list.. “Akpos said : “Okay why don’t you take a seat and I’ll get you something to eat before ...

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Joke: When You Are Wrong

When a boy does something wrong…GIRL: You broke my Favorite Lamp!BOY: It was an Accident…I didn’t mean to…GIRL: I can’t believe you did this!BOY: I’m Sorry… When a girl does something wrong…BOY: You lost my dog!??GIRL: It was an accident…I didn’t mean to…BOY: I can’t believe you did this!GIRL: I already feel bad about it! Stop making me feel Worse!!!BOY: ...

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​Some Girls Do Not Have Anything Else To Offer

Some girls do not have anything else to offer apart from looking sexy…… Argue all you want but this is the truth….. Most ladies spend all their time and resources on their appearance just to look sexy forgetting he is not going to be horny forever……… There are times when he’s going to need a Real woman To share his ...

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​A Message To Responsible Men

MANY WOMEN DON’T NAG WITHOUT A REASON . She returns from work and meets you already home, seated and watching soccer, with your favorite magazine in your left hand and remote by your right hand side. She returns from work and you’re not yet back, without taking off her work cloths, she dashes into the kitchen to put up dinner ...

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​When You Picture Your Life it All Looks Like A Mess

When you picture your life it all looks like a mess. You have a bad past. You have a lot of problems that you are encountering. You are so unlucky in many things. You are surrounded by fake friends and haters who are filling your mind with discouraging words. You feel like you are locked in a dark room where ...

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Enjoy Free MTN 1GB & 500MB Data On Your Phone

Hello guys, enjoy free 1GB of data from MTN and 500MB worth of data when you dial the code am going to reveal here. Unfortunately, this awoof MB is not available for all MTN subscribers. In fact, to some people, MTN send the message straight to the beneficiaries to dial the code to activate it. In other words, you can ...

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​A Couple Was Trying To Select The Best Theme Verse

A couple was trying to select the best theme verse to emphasize their wedding ceremony.  After spending a couple of time searching together, they settled for 1 John 4:18 which reads  that  “there is no fear in love; but perfect love cast out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love”.  They then instructed ...

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​Jokes: Have You Ever Been So Broke

​Have you ever been so broke and then your girlfriend visits. You decide to buy her a drink….  You leave with two bottles,  buy one Fanta and fill the sprite bottle with water so that you may keep her company as she enjoys your last coin.  And when you get back to the house she say  “baby serve me sprite ...

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Joke: My Girlfriend Is In The Car

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked ...

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True Love

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” ...

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Joke: The New Secretary

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: Man, I went on a date with her last Tuesday and we had wonderful s3x. She’s a lot better in bed than my wife! Two days later. George to John: Well, I went on a date with her too and we had s3x as well, but I ...

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Joke: The Broken Engagement

Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget? I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren’t really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a ...

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LG V30: New Rumor Suggests Snapdragon 835 SoC And 6gb Ram 

While the upcoming LG G6 might miss on the Snapdragon 835 SoC (thanks to Samsung), the successor to LG’s V20 smartphone may well be powered by that chipset. The information comes courtesy of a new rumor out of China. In addition, the rumor suggests that the V30 will have 6GB RAM, feature a dual camera setup on both back as well as front, and ...

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Xiaomi Redmi Note 4 Preview: Snapdragon Inside

Introduction Xiaomi launched the Redmi Note 3 in India last year in March, about four months after it was announced in China. But while it was launched late in India, it did launch with a bit of a difference; while China got the MediaTek Helio X10 processor, India got the brand spanking new Snapdragon 650. Ten months and 3.6 million ...

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YouTube Plans To Remove 30-Second Unskippable Ads

If you’ve been using YouTube for a few years now, then its hard not to notice how much it has changed and gradually morphed. Google’s efforts all seem to be aimed at one goal – to position the video platform as a viable mainstream content provider, not unlike TV and capitalize on advertisement accordingly. A lot has already been said ...

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New Samsung Galaxy S8 Cases Reveal Even More Hardware Details

We are yet to see an official render of the Samsung Galaxy S8. But thanks to various accessory makers we already have a pretty good idea of what the device will look like. The latest images come from the Australian brand UAG.      The company listed several Galaxy S8 cases on its website, revealing that the device will have iris scanner, ...

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Apple To Start Manufacturing iPhone SE in India

Last month Apple reportedly selected Wistron as the primary manufacturer for all its iPhones in India. The Taiwanese partner of the Cupertino-based company set up a plant in Bengaluru in order to start the local production. According to industry sources speaking to Reuters, iPhone SE assembly will begin in the coming months. Apple’s midranger is almost an year old but is still the cheapest ...

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Samsung Teases Exynos 9 Chipset, Which Could Be Powering The Galaxy S8

Last year’s Samsung Galaxy S7 and S7 edge were powered either by the Korean company’s own Exynos 8 Octa chipset or Qualcomm’s Snapdragon 820, depending on which market you bought one from. This year most leaks and rumors that have talked about the Galaxy S8 have focused on it sporting the upcoming Snapdragon 835, and how that impacts Samsung’s competitors. However, it turns out that ...

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LG G Pad III 8.0 Starts Getting Nougat Update

The Nougat update for the LG G Pad III 8.0 has been released. Specifically, Canadian carrier Fido has started rolling out the update to units on its network. The update bumps the Android version to 7.0. Given the fact that it’s an OTA roll out, it might take some time for the update to hit your device. Meanwhile, if you feel impatient, ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 35

Did you cook this food? I asked an obviously stupid question Yes nah! She said Who taught you how to cook? Another stupid question. Who else but mummy! She asked Oh, yes! Mummy! I forgot, I said; so how is school life? I asked the first sane question. Uncle wait let me go and get you drinking water. She left ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 36

Come and sit here Yemisi, I said; we need to talk. Okay! She said as she left the seat close to the Television and sat on the two- seater couch I was occupying. She smelled good. The faint scent of perfume came with her. This girl is clean. Her skin is light and smooth without blemish. Her legs, tapering from ...

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Joke: Funny Updates

Some updates fit kill person: “To hair is human to forgive is design”“I hate guys with low selves of steam”“You are a blessing to your generator”“I am a soccer for guys with six park”.“My BB charger is no longer walking”“Anybody who supports this killings is a carnival”“Be magnified Oh Lord, you are highly exhausted”

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Joke: Husbands For Sale

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. ...

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Sheriff as PDP Chairman, Rap€ on democracy – Fayose

The chairman of the Governors Forum of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has described the Appeal Court, Port Harcourt judgement reinstating Sen. Ali Modu Sheriff as National Chairman of the party, as a `rape on democracy’. Ayo Fayose, who is also Ekiti State Governor, made the remark in Abuja on Friday while reacting to the outcome of the judgement.  According ...

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Defamation Lawsuit: Court Frees Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby won a legal battle against one of his accusers Thursday, an event so rare lately that he tweeted about his legal woes for the first time since December 2015. A federal judge in Massachusetts dismissed a defamation lawsuit filed against Cosby by accuser Katherine McKee, ruling that she had no legal basis to claim the comedian defamed her ...

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Osinbajo’s Absence Stalls Inauguration Of Dome In Ondo

Governor Olusegun Mimiko of Ondo State, on Friday in Akure, postponed till Monday, the inauguration of the International Event Centre due to the absence of Acting President Yemi Osinbajo. Osinbajo was expected to inaugurate another of Mimiko’s project, the International Event Centre, also known as the Dome.  Journalists report that a large number of people had converged at the event ...

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Chelsea To Hold Costa Talks At End Of Season

Antonio Conte is “confident” Diego Costa will remain with Chelsea, even though talks over the striker’s future with the club will have to wait until the end of the season. Last month saw Costa, Premier League leaders Chelsea’s leading scorer this season with 15 goals, linked to a lucrative move to the cash-rich Chinese Super League. Nothing, however, came of ...

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Buhari Undergoes P£nis Surgery

Nine-month-old Buhari Muhammad, whose genital was cut off by his step-mother, has undergone first corrective surgery at the Federal Medical Centre (FMC), Bida, Niger. Mrs Mariam Kolo, the Director-General of the state Child Rights Protection Agency, made this known in an interview with newsmen in Minna on Friday. Kolo told journalists that the surgery was part of the series of ...

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Akpos The Librarian

Musa goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide. He met with Akpos the Librarian. MUSA: Please do you have a book on suicide?AKPOS: Wetin you wan read that kind book for?MUSA: I wan commit suicide! Akpos stares at him for a while and says, “Abeg comot for here! Who go come return the book!?”

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Joke: Hatred

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arabs in the window seat said, “I ...

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Joke: What Is The Time?

AKPOS: Hello madam?LADY: What is it?AKPOS: Sorry madam, just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch?LADY: Ehee…now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time.AKPOS: But madam…LADY: Shut up! Akpos takes out his Apple phone and makes a call. AKPOS: Hello John, I just settled from Washington ...

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Joke: Sharp Mum

A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate. During his meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she ...

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Jokes: Akpos The Blind Neighbour

A woman was taking a shower when sheheard a knock on her door. “who is it?” she asked. “It’s me Akpos,” answered the guy at the door.“Oh i’m coming, wait a second.” she replied.she wrapped a towel around herself, then opened the door, Akpos is a blind neighbour, so she didn’t cover herself very well,she was now naked, as she ...

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Joke: Tie the Nigerian On My Back

A Togolese, a Nigerian and a Ghanaian were caught red handed drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia, where consumption of Alcohol is strictly prohibited. The three of them were dragged in front of the Sultan, who said: “You will get 50 lashes for the consumption of alcohol. However, since you are foreigners and did not know about the prohibition, I will ...

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Joke: Hot secretary

A hot secretary came out angry out of her boss’ office, her colleague asked “What happened? You went in happy and came out angry.” She replied, “he asked me if am free tonight? I said absolutely free! Then the bastard gave me 45 pages to type!”

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Mr Akpos, A Primary School Teacher

1. Don’t dare talk infront ofmy back2. 1 2 3, both of you get outof my class!3. Take 5cm wire of mylength4. All of you stand in astraight circle5. Be quiet… the principaljust passed away6. Why are you looking at themonkeys outsidewhen I am here?7. I have 3 daughters, theyare all girls8. Did you see me on theradio yesterday?9. Everybody ...

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Jokes: Six Akpos Laughs

Six Akpos Laughs!!! 1) A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife’s nipples while she was asleep.The next day, their driver died of poisoning. ************************************** 2) A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked Dad why?He answered, so that when I ...

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The Abandoned Child…Part 33

Our people are not good! They will milk you dry! At the end when you are broke, they will say “we wonder what the fool did with his money”! It is good to help people; it is very, very good! But you must help your self first! Not all of these people that come to you for help actually need ...

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