LMAO! See This Binding “Agreement Before Sẹ̀x” Made By Someone To Avoid False Alarm
Whoever drafted this thing ehhhh. Hahahahahah . See below.
Due to the current and often false allegations made by women, which include rape , there is now an agreement to be signed before “action”. Please print a copy which can be used in the court of law.
AGREEMENT BEFORE SẸ̀X…
I, __________________________, the undersigned female partner (herein referred to as the ‘Screwee’), am about to enjoy sexual intercourse with________________________ (hereafter referred to as the ‘Screwer’), certify the following:
1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.
2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic(s).
3. THAT the afore mentioned Screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.
4. THAT I, the Screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever.
5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him.
6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and neither do I care.
7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk.
8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him; because I love it and want it as much as he does.
9. THAT in the event that I receive full satisfaction, which I expect, I declare in advance the capacity and willingness for further participation at regular intervals.
10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that,
(a) I contract an STD
(b) I become pregnant
(c) I feel that he is violating any legislation – moral, legal or otherwise.
SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED ON THIS ___ DAY OF _____ (MONTH) ________ (YEAR) AT ______ (AM/PM)
Signature of Screwee ______________