I was in the pub again the other day and as is sometimes the case, trashy talk from a nearby table floated across. This time, the conversation was about the size of a man’s anatomy and the curious preferences of the opposite s*x with regards to their male partners.
Anytime the debate appeared to wane or someone tried to veer off to another subject, one man at the table will inject life intoit again. His reason? No woman had ever commended him for his size and he believes that he is reasonably well endowed.
Femi, Ik and Osa who sat together with me on my side of the bar joked about my usual nosey self but the torrent of information on how some men are able to keep their women coming back for more kept my ears glued to the conversation.
It all started when one of them, with mischief written all over his face, asked after a friend from the others, “how far with Yerima. It’s been a long time since I saw him especially now that he is married.” The others burst into raucous laughter. Obviously, there is a story here, I said to myself.
A well dressed lanky chap replied, saying “Yerima is currently unemployed. He lives off his wife’s wealth. His wife is loyal to him or rather his penis!” I leaned closer and I was not disappointed. The guy went on “I remember when we were growing up, anytime Yerima wanted to bathe or pee, he hides his penis and turns off the light at night when we are about to sleep.
“As we grew older and started dating girls, Yerima’s major headache was that girls were always scared at the sight of his penis. Many ran away but the ones that had mind were desperate to have it in them, lucky guy! To help himself, he turns off the light each time a new girl comes around and he is ready for action.”
The conversation brought back the memory of a girl I visited at home some time ago. Her parents were not in and I decided to seize the opportunity to have some jiggy, jiggy. She went to the bathroom for a shower and I picked her phone to scroll through. She had downloaded some porn videos.
The videos had actors with very big penis, like 10 inches long. I said to myself that if this is this babe’s standard, then I should quickly dismiss myself. I vamoosed before she came out of the bathroom (why embarrass myself I thought then).
In Lagos nowadays, penis enlargement creams, machines, pills and technique brochures are the rage and they are selling fast. Of course, there won’t be so many shops displaying the brands if the items were not selling.
So I really need to think or ask politely, do women really love big d**cks?